Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I Survived!

August 29th 2007

I am sat in bed feeling incredibly grumpy and like someone has kicked me in a delicate place over and over and over again. The good news is I have had the operation, I almost chickened out. I could see G’s face for a brief second and remembered that she had threatened to do the operation herself with a paperclip if I didn’t get it done and that helped me change my mind. The whole day did once again prove how inept my doctors are.

I arrived early at 8am shaking like a leaf (general anaesthetics freak me out) and Mr B was being really sweet. He came up to the waiting area with me and then went home again and from mine to surrey is quite a trek. I then went and spoke to the nurse and said how originally I had been offered both general and local anaesthetic and wanted to change to the latter, she said someone would see me; I was first on the list and not to worry. I may also have had a small weep about my granddad and needing to go home as soon as possible. I was then sent to wait. It seemed to be a lifetime.

We were all taken through to a ward with our own beds; I was the youngest there by about twenty years. Everyone was there to have something done downstairs and were all a little too eager to share their stories. Who says men are scared to talk about their privates, it was all men together, very weird. The anaesthetist then came and saw me and said if the surgeon said local was ok he would do it, the surgeon came and said he wasn’t. The minute I had to think about it went forever but I thought sod it and said lets do it, I wasn’t waiting any longer this has taken months.

We had to undress and put on those flattering NHS robes. I sat in a very gentlemanly fashion making sure everything was not hanging out, why I bothered I don’t know as everyone else was letting everything hang free something I will try never to recall the image of ever again. Some other bugger got taken in first, I was meant to be first. Time ticked by, I tried to read more of Donna Tart’s ‘The Secret History’ a book I’ve been trying to read for three weeks to read. I know it’s a big old book but three weeks, that’s atrocious. I was interrupted by ‘Mr Savidge they are ready for you’. I got into the bed and was wheeled to my destiny; ha I love how dramatic I made that sound.

I was wheeled through most of the hospital and then into the ‘pre-op’ room. In my past experience this is the room where they knock you out, not this day. Firstly they said that they weren’t as ready as they said. I could see this was true as through the slated windows on the door in front of me I could see the surgeon and anaesthetist doing the previous person. I had to wait for thirty minutes.

Once in the operating theatre I could nicely see all the delightful implements they were going to be using on me. I was introduced to people I had no idea who they were or what they did but they all seemed friendly. The anaesthetist then came and spoke to me, asking me to check out the view from the window to my left, we were six stories up and it was good, it was also sneaky as they put the drip and pre-anaesthetic drug in while they did that. I could suddenly taste spearmint in the back of my throat and then felt very drunk. I remember them saying that I was going to have the general injected, and then a nurse told me that it had all gone well and I was wheeled back to my ward. Then the pain hit. Ouch! I started crying and demanding they phone my Gran and shouting the number out, they did call her you know, they were great.An hour later I was all packed (how I had a jockstrap on I do not know) and we waited for Mr B. We waited, and waited and waited. Another hour later he showed, he had been sat in the main reception waiting for me, I was strangely unimpressed. A nurse came to the toilet with me for what was the most painful wee I have ever been for in my life. Gravity and that specially placed wound don’t mix. It’s actually at the moment the worst thing about the whole experience. Ok, tired now must sleep, and finish this bloody book!

No comments: