Friday, November 30, 2007

Birthdays & Anniversarys

So today was quite a mammoth day as it was not only Mr B’s birthday it was also our one year anniversary, well we didn’t start dating a year ago but we’ll just go with it! So naturally we had to do something special and I was only too happy to leave work early (don’t ask) and so at 4.30 I scarpered, I have been in at 7.30 most mornings thank you!

I had booked a table for 6pm at The Oxo Tower which is one of my favourite restaurants if you ever want to take me out. Before that I had to go and buy the bloody presents and cards – the same will happen with Christmas believe me I will be crazily careering down Oxford on Saturday the 21st. Mr B is a bit selfish having a birthday on our anniversary, honestly two occasions how greedy. He’d already got me Spice Girl tickets.

I met him to find him looking smart, sexy and well turned out. Unlike his boyfriend who was dressed in ripped jeans, a funky shirt and my favourite leather jacket. I was aiming for funky and ‘posh restaurant then club my pants off’ with the amount of rained I looked like a poorly turned out drowned rat. The woman at reception almost frowned; I don’t think the Botox was letting her fortunately.

The food was amazing, the view is stunning and the staff are superb. It was a wonderful meal. They also wrote Happy Birthday in chocolate on his fig pudding, he still thinks I organised it, I didn’t.

Trash Palace was the venue for his party. He had his own sectioned area… he thinks he is a celebrity, no comment from me. It was nice actually though to have somewhere you could leave your handbag and go and have a boogie. However at the end of the night he was asleep in said area. Lots of his and our friends turned up. Some of whom I had to dive in the car of at Piccadilly (thanks PP & G) to direct them to a parking space in Soho, we found one miraculously, get the tube loves.

Danced a lot and had two arguments with Mr B. In Brazil on your birthday you buy everyone drinks, I did not know this, and so had a go at hiom for not letting anyone buy him drinks. Then we had a row as G said he was being sexual with his mates bloke and drunk I started off on one, whoops! Lovely evening though even if I did regret the McDonalds at 3am!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Gaydar Double Delights

No it’s not going to be the blog you so think it might be… I am not going all ‘Belle(nd) Du Jour’ for you all now, though I have thought about it frankly. I mean I might get more readers hahahahahaha.

Gaydar have had two fabulous nights this week and I have been lucky enough to attend them. In honour of World Aids Day on Saturday last night they threw a Champagne Reception with NAT (National Aids Trust) which involved a fabulous raffle, that I bitterly didn’t win, I would have loved to win another holiday, damn it!

I went alone which freaked me out frankly as I am not good around new people, I will not say hello to anyone in case they think I am a dick. No comments please, its something I am working on. Anyways I had a right old laugh. Everyone at NAT is ace, I met two mental sisters that were brilliant and Susann from Gaydar was fabulously friendly. It was a brilliant night and meant I knew quite a few faces for this evening. One fo whom was Gerry from the last Big Brother who told me all about his ear infection, not a conversation I thought I would have with him.

Tonight’s event was the launch of Lo-Profile the new Gaydar Club. Its ace! There’s an amazing infinity tunnel of stars and shapes all flashing dragging you inside, downstairs is all black glass and leather. It helped we were met by semi clad men holding champagne. I was feeling better by today thank you very much so necked the stuff back. Took Muffintop with me who got all the trannies especially Miss Kimberley telling her how fabulous she was. Gerry turned up and thought the same. Richard from previous BB didn’t however. Polly was so excited to see him and he sorta blanked her in his fabulous outfit the poor love, she was happy with Gerry though. I came out with a cracking middle aged line “oh tonight I might go crazy and stay out until 10.30” what in gods name is wrong with me?


Monday, November 26, 2007

Sickly First Impressions

Had a fabulous night out tonight with the ex-ex Talcum and his mate K. We did a major pub crawl, but not until after I had been out on behalf of Bent.

The event was the launch of the Take That (which hasn’t been authorised by them) Musical ‘Never Forget’. The event was nice sadly I was still ridiculously sick (so why I went for a big pub crawl after is beyond me, but hey I’m young-ish) I didn’t even smile for the fabulous Sally Lindsay who was there. I managed to polish of some canap├ęs and some free champagne naturally and then felt about 100% worse.

The lads were on form (only four of them were there – Robbie was missing, how appropriate) and were very pleasant but I couldn’t really have a full on conversation for fear of being sick in their laps, have rearranged an interview for when the show opens in the New Year. Got a nice goodie bag out of tit though and am wearing my Never Forget necklace with pride.

So the evening went from there to G-A-Y Bar, Profile, Comptons, Village and my fav haunt Trash Palace then as it was charge to get in we went to CXR 79 god I had forgotten how much that place is… (insert your own word, am sure some of you will love it… I might).

Now I am at home after a good vomit. I am so classy!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Sick As Sick

A hard week this week. I have to say I have really not enjoyed it. Not had anymore Bent stuff to do which I suppose was a high and then a low, I do have masses next week which is good. Haven’t really seen Mr B at all which is quite hard also. It’s a grumpy hello from me at 2am and a grumpy goodbye from him at 7am so its not really a relationship in its prime. Again I am sure it will be fine.

Saw my friend Married Man on Tuesday who hadn’t seen for an age. His name obviously isn’t married man but he is married and gay so I won’t out him on my Blog. It had been too long so it was good to grab a bite to eat and a coffee at St Paul’s, very scenic too.

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were all just a bit grey and nothingness. Yesterday I was super duper hyped for my first BIG interview, its not coming out yet and I cant say who with sorry. Met my mate Mitch early Saturday morning and had a lovely full English in Soho before meeting Pol at our latest favourite venue Patisserie Valerie (we also can’t stop singing ‘Valerie’ like Amy Winehouse once inside) for a coffee and a cake, then met Cake and Matt on the embankment before going to The Clink Prison Museum. It’s so bad it’s almost good, I say almost. Cake tried beheading me which was nice. They had lunch and I started to feel funny. I thought it might be nerves, so went home had a nice long relaxing soak before going to do the interview.

On the tube I felt worse, not caused by the northern line for once, a hello and a few questions in and I had to run for the loo. Yes my first proper interview and I had food poisoning! Damn that full greasy English. I have no further comments.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Doing A Bank Job

‘Bank Job’ was my first little outing for my new Bent role this evening. My press pass had arrived at the weekend much to my glee, I might try and use it in Sainsbury’s, can you imagine? It’s the novelty which I am sure will wear off after a few months. I have only been hankering after this bad boy just over a year.

Vue Cinema in the West End was screening the new Jason Statham movie ‘Bank Job’ which is out in February next year. It wasn’t bad. I have to say the first 5 minutes of breasts didn’t exactly float my boat and the fact there was not one naked shot of Mr Statham himself was disappointing other than that it was great. Lots of twists and turns, a much more complicated story than you would instantly think. Yes its about a bank job, its also about a sexual scandal in the royal family and ‘bent’ coppers and MI5. So I would recommend it, if British thrillers are your thing, if not wait for the DVD.

So I have to review the film in January (I have had to write one already as I would forget) and then interview Mr Statham. This new job is such a burden!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Back Oop North

This morning I was running a Charity Shop, seriously no word of a lie, me running a charity shop in an old cold half refurbished mill… and I loved it. I was helping my Gran’s friend Mezza who is a volunteer at Cromford Mills in their charity card shop. They actually had some really nice bits and pieces in there including some brilliant ‘Traffic Jam’ cranberry, then lemon and orange, then lime, just like a traffic light. A few of you may be getting it this Christmas.

My Gran was supposed to be helping out however she was more standing gossiping to acquaintances and then moaning about how she is a widow to all in sundry. I am not being mean when I say that, she is grieving I understand however there are levels, my aunty is a psychologist and she is unsure of some of the ‘crying’ that takes place when a certain someone is not getting all the attention that she deserves. We will move swiftly on.

It was definitely weird going back for the first weekend and having no Bong there but we were kept so busy it wasn’t a sad weekend. Matlock is full of people I know so every time I went out I would get way laid with and old family friend or three. I came up Friday night with my Uncle who is now freelance, so we caught up on his business plans and put the world to rights.

Saturday my Gran had the doctors so we whizzed down to Matlock, she went off and I took in all the second hand shops (brilliant), Birds (one of the best cake shops ever), a walk along the river, a quick shop for Gran and then we met up again to go for a lovely coffee and tea cake at The Strand (Matlock’s most expensive, by London terms cheap, restaurant). I looked after my cousins for a few hours in the afternoon. Onto Chatsworth for their ‘seasonal kaleidoscope of festivity’, also known as their Christmas decorations, which were… interesting. Had a walk through the gardens, it rained, we went down in the coal tunnels, Gran got scared. Back to my aunt’s for dinner, X Factor, home, book, bed, sleep.

So this morning found me as I said dealing with customers and the most ancient till I have come across. Gran tried to charge someone £400 for a pack of Cancer Relief cards; I made a comment about it all being for charity but that may appear a bit like extreme money making. I really enjoyed the banter of all the old ladies who came in, see I truly should be a pensioner… I can see it now! Had lunch on the canal in the rain, popped into Scarthin Books which is one of the best independent book stores I have been too. Drove to the station in the snow, really, and now back in London, feeling almost rested.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

It's Panto Time

You may remember, or you may not, that I told you quite a while back that I was getting involved with the Out Everywhere Panto. Well tonight was my first rehearsal and despite being bloody nervous – I am not good with new people I never know what to say and that tends to come across as me being rude, I’m not I’m just a bit shy. I know shocking isn’t it?

I met the producer/Dame at the Kings Cross and my nerves eased off, my conversation skills were a bit lacking however once in the swing of getting lost down lots of streets to our destination it flowed nicely. There had been some drama’s the night before at rehearsals apparently which made me chortle. I mean come on a Panto Company made of gay men and lesbians, without berating my own, there are naturally going to be some dramas along the road. There had already been quite an issue on Out already which I gladly missed.

I saw my costume for the first time and its very panto and I am really chuffed with it! I was expecting something quite out there, which it is, but its got a simplicity I like, its very orange.

Tonight was my first rehearsal (though others had one before) and I was sure I was going to find the dance routine bloody hard work but I didn’t, I certainly didn’t get it first time I got the gist of it though and sure enough eventually knew it through, there is one jump I tend to forget. I’ll probably have forgotten the whole lot by the next rehearsal.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Getting More Bent

I am buzzing today as I have had a promotion at Bent… hoorah! After being the Agony Uncle for over a year I am now also going to be doing everything London based from interviews to reviews, to bar openings and big nights out. I simply cannot express how chuffed I am, Bong has been doing his work somewhere up there or wherever he is.

I have been nagging my editor for weeks and weeks about ‘what else can I do’, ‘is there anything else I could wing your way’ etc, etc. Now it seems to have paid off. Not sure what my first bits and bobs are going to be, I think it will all come to me in dribs and drabs, and then hopefully be a big gush of work.

I am also looking at extra stuff that I could write and get some more coverage on so any ideas please wing them my way. Right I am off to celebrate with a nice cup of tea!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Anders Panders

I finally caught up with Anders Panders tonight after quite some time which is shameful. I would bore you with all that we did (meal at Balans – delicious, then on a small pub crawl in Soho) instead as I am having a very nostalgic emotional week so far I am going to tell you why I love him so!

Panders is one of the most genuine, down to earth people I have ever met. He moved into a house I was sharing back in 2001 and from the off he was just lovely and we got on really well. In developed a bit of a crush (and was a bit of a bastard when he moved out as I was really sad) and a genuine true friendship was made – partly over a love of Kylie, all things Pop and Miss Congeniality. He introduced me to Tina Arena (hoorah) and Harry Connick Jnr (dubious) and told m I sung like Victoria Beckham, at the time I was flattered… I was a fan, now I am not so sure.

Since then he has introduced me to Kath & Kim before they were big here, Lucie Silvas and the diva that is Beverley Knight. I’m not quite sure what I have introduced him to other than copies of Kylie songs that she has never released! Panders, please help me out with this. We went through the emotional times of his relationship with ‘Cat flap’ and my relationship with the ‘Tantric TV God’ and the whole mad fag hag syndrome. Then we had the flashing and footsie phase – he once ran naked down Ranelagh Road in Plaistow much to my egging on and hilarity. I released his gullible side ‘Mexx is a shop for dyslexics as they all read the same things wrong’ which he believed and laughed hysterically at the ‘women always have milk in their boobs’ debate. We danced in the kitchen to Can’t Get You Out of My Head in our white dressing gowns for a summer, and became obsessed with Tina Arenas latest album

He moved out and introduced me (after my grump) to the delights, well sort of, of Chelmsford by taking me to Chicago’s which was a hoot and won us tickets to Kylie’s ‘Body Language’ concert. We’ve had a weekend in Hammersmith (dear lord) to see Kylie – can you spot a Kylie them – and sent me lots of fabulous CD’s when he worked for a record company. I’ve managed to get him into a few gigs, see some Pam Ann and made him come out on a New Years eve when he was going to ‘stay in’.

Tonight was no different, we laughed at each others various drama’s he got emotional, the wet lettuce, about my granddad. We discussed our love lives and got a bit drunk frankly. A pure Panders moment came up tonight which made me laugh for quite some time and shock horror involved Kylie. ‘2 Hearts’ came on… a man stood in the way of her beautiful image and Panders butchly shouts ‘MOVE!’ He’s a legend I just thought I would tell you all that.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

A Bit Of Upset & Onto Memories Past

I had a really lovely day today, after a really awful start. I was fine when I woke up, a little too much sleep had left me overtired but I was really looking forward to a day with Mr B at the London Dungeon. Got up got dressed got ready as normal seemed fine and got on the tube. Out of absolutely nowhere I had really strong thoughts about Bong and that was it, I was in floods between Elephant and Castle and London Bridge. I could see tourists and Londoners looking at me thinking ‘we know the northern line is bad, that bad though, surely not.’ Got off the tube went to London Dungeon and just simply could not go in, I was a bit of a wreck. I think the last few weeks just hit me all of a sudden.

Mr. B was awesome as ever. He simply guided his emotional time bomb of a boyfriend away from the crowds to the river took me on a long walk to tower bridge and past the tower, got me a Starbucks and just sat with me while it all poured out. After a while I was fine and the whole thing subsided, grief is a weird bugger.

The day was saved as we decided randomly to get a boat from the Tower to Greenwich. I hadn’t been there since the Millennium Dome days after seven years (a long time to not visit somewhere you loved and live near) its not really changed. We went to the park that used to be my lunch patch. Looked at where once had been ‘The Gloucester’ and I had a long reminisce. We pottered around the old vintage market where Mr B bought something I can only describe as the ‘most hideous coat I have ever seen’ it made him happy though. Then we went to the food and trinkets market where we ate shed loads, there was a delicious mozzarella thing which I so wish I could make, yummity yum.

Instead of getting the boat back we decided to take a really scenic dusk ride on the DLR to the dome (a very long way round) to catch a movie. I have to say looking at Canary Wharf and the docklands with all their lights (lets forget the greenhouse for a moment) was absolutely stunning. It didn’t feel like London at all.

The O2 looks great, I haven’t been to see anything inside yet, just the way its all laid out like a village is fantastic. It doesn’t resemble the madhouse that I used to work in 1999/2000 its very quiet which I am sure will change and just feels really new and well used, after the amount it bloody cost it was about time. The cinema looked great sadly the selection of movies not so, we just grabbed a Pizza Express and went home.

Friday, November 09, 2007

The Pre-30's Pensioners

If I have ever felt old then tonight is the night that I have felt my oldest. After a crumby week with my mouth I have finally started to feel better, believe me the relief of no longer resembling a mutant gerbil is something to celebrate. I cant celebrate anything at the moment however as due to the high level of antibiotics I am on I cannot drink. So tonight me and Polly did an alcohol free evening… there were still hysterics.

We did our usual wandering around book shops for a while gossiping about general rubbish, and then headed to Tuk Tuk our favourite Thai restaurant (cheap as chips) on Old Compton Street and I had a rather awesome curry noodle concoction. We then like a pair of OAP’s went to Patisserie Valerie where I had a Mocha Parfait and Pol had camomile tea and a delicious cake each and started talking like we were ninety five, it was like we were possessed. We were then debating what we were going to do with the rest of our evenings to which I replied ‘oh, I might have a nice cup of tea in the bath before a book at bedtime’. Oh dear – aged 25 and on a Friday night that’s my idea of fun. What has my life come to?

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Absess Makes The Heart Grow Colder

After promising myself to start my blog in earnest I have sadly failed. The reason, I am sure you all want to know, is that I have had a massive abscess in my gob. Now I have issues with my wisdom teeth, if I ever whinge at you about that please remind me of this. I can honestly say that I haven’t experienced anything this level of painful. Mr. B looked at me on Wednesday and simply said ‘Oh baby’ and look horrified, I looked like a bloody hamster.

Today is day two of Abscess Agony. I have thankfully been to the NHS drop in dentist and have to say (I simply hate dentists) that it was a relatively painless visit. I am now on FOUR BLOODY antibiotics, I now rattle as I walk, no it’s the pills not the lose screws. It hasn’t stopped swelling but it’s nicely numb from something they did so I can speak again; I think some ‘unnamed’ people have enjoyed this bout of silence.

Silence was something that sadly, in my major night of agony last night, was lacking in the local area. Where was this noise coming from? Down-bloody-stairs! The other day Mr. B told me that a man with a pit bull was going downstairs into the flat. I had a few moments of rejoicing that the other buggers had gone, and then the concern regarding the pit bull hit me. Sorry I just don’t like those sorts of dogs, I am a cat person anyway. It then started to get noisier downstairs over the next week. Now after being recently bereaved sleep has not been my major forte of late. These buggers talk (so loudly) until one, two or three a.m. Can’t bear it!

I got a lovely message/note under the door the other night, it was from the new ‘house sitters’ downstairs (double bugger) about their little Halloween Party they were going to have. It would only be until 1am or 2am, they understood that I might be at work and was welcome to come ‘in strictly fancy dress’. Well at 6am after a fight some smashed glass several of the neighbours banging on my bloody wall and a crazed dog running around Mr. B decided to phone the police… that did the trick. Sadly I now feel funking knackered and when you’re sick you feel whacked out enough. Least there was a bit of drama, everyone knows how I love that.

So now I am back from the dentists, contemplating the joys of going in the office tomorrow. I had a chat with Gran tonight (she is doing so bloody well) and we’ve just discussed dentists and how it must be a really horrid job working when you know none of your clients actually want to come and see you. That put things into perspective a bit, or it would if dentists didn’t cost the sodding earth and rake in money from others pain… no I don’t feel sorry for them any longer!