Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Have I Committed Crimes Today...

Tuesday 3rd April

Crime One – I flirted as has become usual in the office. I may have even had one impure thought about them – no I am not interested but come on we all have bad thoughts!

Crime Two – I didn’t go to Mr Burston’s book launch tonight. I so wanted to but I am aching in my ‘area’ like it has never ached before and frankly half sitting up in bed right now is painful. I am gutted but have offered him a ‘sorry’ cup of coffee or alcoholic beverage whenever he should wish. I want me book signed is one reason but second would be nice to say hello. A plus for him in honour, his new book ‘Lovers & Losers’ is out now and you should bloody buy it.

Crime Three – Searched for a present to cheer me up. Whilst doing so some youngsters came up to me in Woolworths and asked if I would by them a Playstation game that was for over eighteens. I did. Is that wrong of me? Answers please as I’m racked with guilt – am I bollocks (how apt) if I could have gotten someone to do that for me as a kid I bloody would have, in fact in terms of cigarettes and alcohol I did.

Crime Four – I bought myself the Timbaland album as a gift as was feeling so low. Is buying a Timbaland album a crime? Maybe.

Crime Five – I didn’t cook tonight, I got take away and had them deliver only four doors down. Sorry but with swelling aching and a syringe to contend with tomorrow I felt I was allowed this one small treat.

Crime Six – I have done no writing (bar my blog and which is now live) in weeks.

Crime Seven – Impure thoughts towards my day job. When the fire alarm went off was it so wrong of me to wish the whole place burnt down just so I could get more time in bed, and plus would have added more drama to my life?

Crime Eight – Leaving my keys at home and making Mr B come all the way to my office to give me them when I could easily have just gotten my arse on the tube and got them from his work, bar the aches. I did bloody leave them at home after all, it was totally my mistake.

Crime Nine – Forgetting a family members birthday!

Crime Ten – Questioning a friend of a few years. Not sure what I make of them anymore. Hardly ever hear from them unless they want something, they use our friendship as a weapon sometimes to get what they want and they always moan I never make an effort with them and I bloody do! I’ve also been completely slagging someone off, who I am desperately trying not to do as I shouldn’t dislike them really – but I do. I didn’t slag them off to one friend, oh no, I went the whole hog and slagged them off to three. Bad Simon!

When are the cops coming to get me?

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