First Class Chaos

Friday 20th April 2007

I am on the train to Manchester. I have not had a good week with Virgin bloody trains and today is the highlight of shite, even that rhyming isn’t making me smile. I phoned Virgin on Tuesday to sort out my tickets up north. Now I know Manchester is a popular destination on a Friday, but I am not even aiming to get all the way there, and a ticket is £219.00 return, which can (to put it mildly) kiss my arse.

You see I am off to stay with my Aunty A – she’s getting hitched this year and it’s all very exciting. Sadly the venue is in Matlock which though my home town technically is not that home town of my heart and is a bit shit, but this day will be awesome. Sorry I ran off at a tangent then. So she lives in Heaton Chapel which is sort of almost Stockport (gulp) and so I looked at tickets to Stockport, and then came the aforementioned ridiculous price. So I asked how much it is to Heaton Chapel. “£59.40 return… but you have to change” well frankly for that discount I couldn’t care if I went via Edinburgh, I asked where? “Stockport” there was a long pause in which I seethed “but you must not get off there, you have to change”. What sort of a joke is that, how can they stop me? I mean really what a bunch of tits!

Today is the day of the journey. I wanted the 18.35 train as you can upgrade to first class for £15 which at the saving I made I really couldn’t give two hoots about spending! When it came to 18.30 it seemed every single person from London ran over Euston station (it was like the Oxford Street Primark opening) to Platform 15. Miffed doesn’t quite cover how I felt right then. We then get told if you don’t have a reservation then please take the 18.30 train to Manchester. Excuse me but what if you’re not just going to Manchester, the two trains went in very different directions and most importantly are you not aware the time is 18.32?

That train hadn’t gone; I am now sat on it! I am in first class; I have not paid for the upgrade and am not expected to. First class passengers have been told to get the 19.01 train – sorry but shouldn’t first class passengers do what the fuck they like the amount they pay even if they are posh bastards? However I am late by thirty bloody minutes, the people in first class are not normal first class people i.e. quiet and keeping themselves to themselves as they’ve paid the earth. I am such a snob, when I lived in Matlock first class would have been a dream – time to for a little self check – I think it’s just because I am Virgin Vexed! Oh the trains now stood still, great! I need to get a car, pronto.