Are All Men Bastards?

My mate Andy came to visit me on my deathbed today. He brought some ‘Thornton’s Classics’ to help me get better which was such a sweet thing to do. We had a good catch up about him and his sudden departure from his workplace. We discussed my current feelings on mine. Then came the subject of men as it often does over a Lemsip or three.

Andy is one of the most lovely, sweet, caring and downright loony men I know. How he hasn’t gotten a man is a mystery to me (and a mystery to him), he’s been dating a few in the past few months. However none of these have come through as yet (and frankly they should have) I have a theory though… he’s too nice. Andy wears his heart on his sleeve, he is giving without a thought to any personal gain, and he let’s people know how he feels about them. Isn’t that what men want from another man these days?

The last one for me is the technical glitch (the letting people know how he feels), and as an agony uncle I feel I can give my sixpence worth or whatever the turn of phrase is… and as a friend more importantly. It seems to me there are three types of men. Men who don’t want a boyfriend, men who do want a boyfriend and those tricky few who say they want a boyfriend… until someone better comes along or they freak out.

Andy seems to have been meting a lot of the latter (I hope he doesn’t kill me for writing all this) men who say they want to date; only they mean more than one person. Men who say they want a boyfriend send you roses on Valentines and then simply ‘feel confused’. Get a sodding grip and save the money in your wallet.

Why can’t people just be upfront? If you don’t want a relationship, don’t say you do. If you just want a shag – tell it like it is. These have been the keys to my relationships/liaisons, and though there can be a sting with being so honest, it’s a short term one, rather than the turmoil you can do to someone’s feelings and confidence.

I’m feeling sick again. It’s the penicillin, either that or the site of Ian ‘H’ Watkins with no clothes on in this week's Boyz that popped through my door. Oh I am mean… it made me feel better for a second though!