From our arrival at Philadelphia Airport Simon S2 (my fellow journo) and I were questioned, finger printed, photographed and then left to our own devices. We were being picked up from the airport to be driven around the city to see the different areas before arriving at The Four Seasons. Our driver was Michael. Michael was something else. Michael was the sort of character you couldn’t make up, he was also the sort of character you could never make up, and when you meet know you will have to use some day.
As a welcome to my blogs in Philadelphia here is some of the ‘Wisdoms of Michael’ we were treated to as we toured the city, I swear all of this is for real, I have a witness…
“For holy fuck, just fucking sort yourself out” (to a work colleague on his mobile as he was leading us to the limo, he had said nothing prior to this as was on the phone)
“That’s the laundrette where these twin broads work who I dated, one would substitute the other to start, they were cool with it, I wasn’t… how do you tell one that her sister sucks at sucking dick?”
“Did you say goodbye to your King and that so called bitch of a Queen?” (I think he meant Charles and Camilla)
“I love driving round this park… so many college girls near the here, gets you hard”
“My son is becoming a lawyer, which is good, he’ll earn good money… and I won’t have to fork out fuck all for him anymore.”
“Man I love them broads in them high heeled boots, they want it don’t they?” (He then piped his horn (ironic) at said broad and several others he would ‘do’.)
“You gotta check out South Street, the weed is amazing”
“My wife wonders why I look at other women when she never offers me her pussy no more, crazy bitch.”
“You gotta try the Philly cheese steak… its like warm pussy” (I actually snorted with laughter at this point)
He also told us about some pro-boxer he ran a business with and won a fight against, and a very disturbing story that confused me involving a slightly incestuous moment with his Gran. Seriously you couldn’t make it up. It was very much a bonding session for Simon S2 and me as we both gave each other some very knowing looks and also both tried to make the other laugh! What a welcome.
P.S -The flight was fine, I wouldn’t go as far to say as I loved it or I am cured, but it was bearable. I also learned something. Valium doesn’t work for me! I took two and nothing, two more later still nothing, so I just had to sit out my fear and 8 hours later I was slightly sweaty but I felt quite proud of myself.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment