Occasionally you find yourself feeling older, for example when a birthday is coming up. It does make you think blimey where did all that time go? I am turning 26 in five days which I know is not old (eighty is old – until you get there) and I know I have no reason to moan… actually I do. If one more person says ‘oh you’re a baby’ I might scream. I am not a baby, the beard gives it away I think, or the fact maybe that I am almost six foot? Most of my friends are in their late twenties and early to late thirties and they have absolutely no sympathy for me at all at the moment, come on though when you get to twenty six its not the fact that coming to thirty scares you it’s the fact that your early twenties are officially dead.
I have noticed the following in the last few weeks alone;
- My stubble has grey in it
- My skin needs to be moisturised, I have always avoided this
- A couple of glasses of wine will get me pissed too easily
- Friday night with a good book and chocolates is my idea of heaven, not the club
- I like ‘dinners’ over a night of pub crawls
- My hangovers are getting worse (closer to mingovers)
- Wallowing in the bath is better than a quick shower and go
- I have started to say ‘aren’t they too young to be in here?’
- The words ‘oh that’s a bargain’ are pouring out more often than needed
- I have opened a savings account (this idea was abhorrent to me until recently)
- I get excited about appliances for the home, particularly the kitchen
Today however I feel ‘older’ I am shattered, serious bags under eyes. I have two social engagements tonight (The Jarman Exhibition and a new night ‘Work’ at Heaven) I currently just want to stay in bed. I have actually been out to the post office and Sainsbury’s – see that’s me happy – and am now in bed again. Yes, that’s right lazy sod. I should be doing some work and haven’t, the words won’t come. I had a small moment of self pity in Sainsbury’s when all I was buying was meal for ones and cat food. The woman looked at the bags under my eyes and me with pure pity and a slight snarl! Bitch! She doesn’t know the real me! Mad me feel worse though, good customer service.
I have no problems with getting older (except for when I feel it). I have been reliably informed by my mother (now 42) ‘your teenage years are all hormones and horniness, twenties its freedom and fun, thirties are fabulous, forties are divine’ that to me sounds great. I have problems with the idea of getting old and not having accomplished each year what I intend to but no one wants to feel they waste their life do they?
Have made my decision, am going to get off my arse stop feeling sorry for myself and celebrate these last days of 25! I shall go to the Jarman Exhibition and then ‘Work’… but I will get the last tube, just so can have an early night.