Friday, August 29, 2008

Most Haunted Laid To Rest?

I have been a fan of Most Haunted for years so when I got tickets to the live show at Alexandra Palace I was over the moon, there was also only one person I could take and that was Michelle/Spandex/Mitch. One of the things we have had in common since she was ‘the lady what paid me’ when I was a temp about 4 years ago (bar the love of Pride & Prejudice, Colin Firth and Mills & Boon) is Most Haunted. In fact we have had several long and sometimes you might say heated conversations and debates on this very subject. Does the stuff that happens really happen? Is an orb really a ghost? Did Derek Acorah wear a thong? Why did Derek get fired? Could we do a better job?

I am really open to the show, I know a lot of people think it’s faked I couldn’t see any trickery tonight. I am open to the whole ghost thing and once made a pilot for something like this filmed in a pubs cellar that’s part of the old Newgate Prison. I am actually looking for gay ghost hunters or a gay ghost hunting team for October’s magazine, so if you know any let me know. I also had a very weird moment with a friend at Balham Spiritualist Church where the message we got was so spot on and we gave nothing away, but that’s another story back to Most Haunted.

We arrived at Alexandra Palace with just the three hours to spare before it started as we wanted to make good time. After being directed by one of the security guards to find ‘a little gay guy called Martin who hands out the tickets, careful though mister he might try and kiss you’ seriously these people still exist. In my head I was thinking ‘you have no idea what my career or sexual orientation is do you numpty man?’ It made for a hilarious conversation in the ridiculously long queue to meet said Martin. We had arrived only 30 minutes after you could get tickets and we were the 319th and 320th members of the audience. And what an audience…
But before that I must pay homage to Martin who I have previously mentioned because he for me and Michelle was possibly one of the highlights of the night. When we got our wristbands he had just said to the people in front ‘just put out your wrist… or your penis anything really we can attach it to and see it on’. After Michelle and I had ours on he said ‘we love you two’. Later when the audience had withered to about half if not less he ran to us and said ‘you are all gorgeous, sexy, hot people move forward… now’. He should have been the warm up act and the entertainer in all the waiting around or even better one of the presenters. We loved him.

So onto the audience, can I state that before I say this and before I judge others I am honestly not a snob or normally this judgemental, there are just levels of decent humanity that sometimes need addressing. Firstly this audience was lame, no one wanted to be interviewed for the show (they didn’t ask us) they took photos when they were told it was banned (my photo was on the way out so doesn’t count), they were a whole new level of chav (bar some lovely gays and Goths) they talked loudly and endlessly about utter shit or as if the crew and cast of the show were their best friends and I am sorry but some of them smelt. We know it was them because it arrived with three ladies (all obese) and was so strong we were sniffing ourselves and each other to make sure it wasn’t us. One of these delightful ladies then took her shoes off, announced the stench of her feet was ‘hanging’ and wouldn’t put the shoes back on. Fortunately 60% of the audience had left by 10pm which I thought was a bit of a cheek as some people had been waiting three years for tickets, that’s a whole new level of crazy.

The show was good, we got to see Yvette and several of the Most Haunted Team (I am still sulking they never got back to me about a time for an interview but that’s another story) Lesley Smith was FABULOUS and I think she might have to be a future femme fatale for my new interview feature that’s running every month in Bent, as of next month. I need to find out more about her. Their new psychic ‘Brian’ is awful, I could wander around saying ‘spirit come forward’ and not give any details as to who the spirit is other than its male or female and might have had plague, bring back David Wells! In fact bring back the old simpler format.

Watching the show on the big screens was good sadly though they weren’t doing ‘Alexandra Palace’ which seemed like a waste of an amazing venue and also I think if we had been an audience in the location they were at we would have felt more part of it, rather than a herd of cattle trained to clap who weren’t really allowed to use the loo or entertained during the endless bits where the team weren’t being screened and we weren’t needed, we actually got told not to clap sometimes, I think it was meant to add to the suspense. Now they are trying to make the show a bit too out there and as they had no contact with the studio it made for slightly dull TV where we’d one moment see one of them in a coffin doing an experiment and then be treated to them having a chat or moving equipment. I think the DVD of ‘Total Darkness’ will be better. I’ll still try and do the Halloween show if it’s near London.

Where the Most Haunted team were looked fabulous though, they are staying three days underground beneath various parts of London, tonight’s was the London Tombs which have not long been discovered under London Bridge. I love all that underground London stuff… I need to start getting jobs where I get to do that, now how would one become a member of Most Haunted? Maybe I should start up ‘Laid To Rest’ again, a show a friend and myself started, that never quite went anywhere. I am going to start brainstorming.

2 comments:

Andi said...

yes, derek like to wear thongs. you can see it in the pilot episode and in a later episode in (i think) the 4th season.
not the think we wanted to see...

it says on wikipedia that derek got fired for making stuff up. look in the contoversy section of the most haunted article.

Simon said...

thanks very much for the tip andi!